Sex life has an important role in a couple's relationship, especially that of maintaining connection and intimacy between partners. But what happens to all the romance after a baby?

Sex can seem like a distant thought in the postpartum period, especially due to hormonal changes. When estrogen and progesterone drop drastically after a pregnancy, the sex drive drops as well. The main concern is the baby. However, your relationship with your partner is also important, and as your body recovers and your hormone balance returns to normal, you'll notice that your interest in sex returns as well, so let's talk about that. See what things to keep in mind, when and how you can resume your sex life after giving birth.

Resumption of sexual life after caesarean section

In psychological and emotional terms, there is no rule about resuming sex life after childbirth. Each woman recovers at her own pace, depending on her health, physical condition and hormonal fluctuations. Only you know when you are physically ready, but especially when you are mentally and emotionally ready to resume your sex life and feel good with your partner.

From a medical point of view, the standard recommendation is to wait about 6 weeks.

From the outside, you may have the impression that the waiting time should be shorter than after a normal birth, just because there are not the same changes in the vagina. But the truth is that even after a cesarean birth, it takes time for the cervix to close completely and for the body to recover and be ready for sexual contact.

That's why many women wait 4-6 weeks after a C-section to become sexually active again. But it is best to wait for the opinion of the specialist doctor, who will make the right recommendations according to your own healing rhythm.

Recovery after cesarean delivery

After a caesarean section, the hospital stay is generally between 2 and 4 days, during which time you will recover, receive care and support, and gradually taper off pain medication or other medical equipment.

As I told you above, even if you didn't give birth normally, you still need time to recover. Vaginal bleeding may occur for up to 4-8 weeks. It will take the same amount of time for the cervix to close, and the uterus to return to normal size.

Therefore, the period required for recovery is more or less the same regardless of the type of birth, and during this time it is recommended to avoid sexual contact, the use of tampons and the introduction of any foreign body into the vagina.

What you need to know to avoid possible pain

Pain during sex after a cesarean birth is not uncommon. The body is still recovering, and patience is needed as you resume your sex life. Keep in mind that:

• Your body still has a low level of estrogen.
• Low estrogen results in reduced blood flow in the body.
• Reduced blood flow results in thinning and sensitivity of the vaginal tissue.
• Another consequence of hormonal fluctuations is the reduction of natural lubrication and vaginal dryness, especially if you are breastfeeding.

So each problem leads to another problem, ultimately causing discomfort, sensitivity or pain when resuming sex. If you find yourself in this situation, use a lubricant or talk to your gynecologist to recommend a moisturizer or estrogen eggs.

Take your time when it comes to resuming your sex life after giving birth

Patience and communication between partners is the key to resuming your sex life after any type of birth. If you rush, you only put pressure on yourself physically and emotionally, increase your anxiety level and of course your frustration level if things don't go as expected.

Give yourself time to reconnect with your partner and for your body to become comfortable with sexual activities. In addition to lubricant, sexual foreplay , communication, Kegel exercises, oral sex, masturbation or other techniques can be just as important in returning to a normal sex life.

Comfort is important in sex after cesarean delivery

As I mentioned comfort, it is essential on a physical and emotional level for sex after childbirth to feel good again .

Physically, the abdominal area has a harder time recovering and may remain tender from a C-section until the sutures are removed about a week after birth. Numbness, tingling or slight discomfort may persist for several months even after the 6 weeks in which the incision area heals.

As long as it does not turn into pain and is not accompanied by a fever, this discomfort is usually not a cause for concern. That doesn't mean you don't have ways to increase your comfort level and enjoy intercourse. For example, you can try sexual positions that do not apply pressure to the abdominal area and the incision.

Psychologically, it's just as normal to have feelings of anxiety, panic, or fear that make you hesitate to have sex even if the desire to do it is there. So comfort must also be felt on an emotional level, so that stress and worries don't ruin your experience. And here a very important role is played by the relationship with the partner.

Communicate openly, talk about what's bothering you, what you want or don't want to do at the moment. Be patient and use methods of relaxation and reconnection starting with non-sexual closeness such as cuddling. I talked more in another blog post you might find helpful about how to create intimacy without sex . Massage, foreplay and lubricant can also be reliable allies to restart your sex life in a pleasant way.

What methods of contraception to use after cesarean delivery

And as with any sex-related discussion, it is necessary to address the topic of contraception. It's not just about protecting yourself from an unwanted pregnancy when you don't want a baby yet. Even when you plan to get pregnant again in the future, contraception is important until your body has fully recovered.

In principle, it is recommended to wait at least 12-18 months after a caesarean birth before another pregnancy, to give your body enough time to fully recover and be ready for all the challenges that a new pregnancy entails task. So here's what's good to know about contraception after caesarean section:

• Lack of menstruation and breastfeeding are not criteria for effective contraception. It is still possible to get pregnant immediately after the first 3 weeks after the caesarean section.
• The condom is the recommended contraceptive method primarily because it protects you not only from an unwanted pregnancy, but also from vaginal infections.
• If you want to protect yourself from pregnancy with birth control pills, it is best to talk to your doctor and follow his recommendations. Your body is already coming off a period full of major hormonal fluctuations, and it's good to make sure you don't create a hormonal imbalance and affect breastfeeding with hormonal contraception.

How soon can you get pregnant again after giving birth?

Whether you're breastfeeding or not, whether you gave birth naturally or by caesarean section, whether you got your period or not, theoretically you can get pregnant again only 3 weeks after giving birth. That's why it's so important to use a method of contraception as soon as you resume your sex life, so you don't get pregnant again before your body is ready for it.

When to seek medical advice

The advice of the gynecologist is very important, because the specialist closely follows the way your body heals and can give you the most suitable recommendations for you. So don't hesitate to ask him for advice on:

• When you can safely resume your sex life: usually the ok is given after about 6 weeks, but this is not a rule. The doctor will watch the cervix close before telling you that you can have sex again without an increased risk of infection.
• How to choose your contraceptive method: especially if you want to opt for hormonal contraception.
• Pain during sexual intercourse: if the discomfort is too great at the vaginal level or at the level of the incision after cesarean section, tell this to the doctor so that you can receive the right treatment or indications.

Sex after birth and sexual positions

I was saying that changing the sexual position and choosing one that does not put pressure on the abdominal area is a good idea to avoid discomfort and pain during sex after childbirth.

The doggy style position, the classic missionary position and standing sex are some of those that involve deeper penetration or put pressure on the abdominal area. In general, this is also why they are some of the best sex positions . But after a C-section, that's all the more reason you'll want to leave them for later, when your body is fully restored.

Instead, we recommend choosing positions that allow you to control the depth and pace of penetration, so you can stop or adjust your position as soon as you feel something is wrong. Some options would be:

• Spoon
• Amazon position (and other variations where you position yourself on top of your partner)
• Anchor position (which is similar to the missionary position, but slightly modified to give you more comfort and not put pressure on the abdominal area)

How Kegel exercises can help you get your sex life back on track

Kegel exercises can generally improve your sexual experiences, but even more so in the postpartum period. They strengthen your pelvic muscles, which can affect your arousal, sexual pleasure and satisfaction, including your ability to have an orgasm.

If you need a little guidance on their practice, we're here for you. In another article on the Enroush blog, I explained everything you need to know about Kegel exercises, how and why to do them .

Tips for resuming your sex life after cesarean delivery

Maybe many things change and are different, but the purpose of sex remains the same whether it's before, during or after a pregnancy: to feel good together with your partner. So, summarizing everything we talked about in this article, here are some recommendations to make sex after cesarean birth as pleasant as possible:

• Set realistic expectations: It's normal for sex life not to return to exactly how it was before pregnancy immediately after giving birth. Be realistic about the time it will take to recover.
• Be patient with yourself and your body: don't rush things and give yourself understanding and patience even if you don't feel sexual attraction or desire yet. Just as your body follows its natural rhythm of at least 4-6 weeks to recover and cannot be forced, your hormones, emotions and libido also need time to return to normal.
• Communicate openly with your partner: both before and during sexual contact. If something doesn't feel right or hurts, tell him. You can adjust the position, change it, take a break or just stop.
• Reconnect emotionally before translating this connection into sex: this will help reduce the inhibitions and anxiety that can arise after a longer period of reduced intimacy with your partner.
• Make time for foreplay: which starts with hugs and other intimate gestures that don't involve sex.
• Use lubricant: If natural lubrication has not yet returned to normal, using a lubricant can help prevent pain or discomfort caused by vaginal dryness.
• Choose comfortable positions: to begin with, avoid positions that put pressure on the abdomen and incision area, or those that involve too deep and possibly painful penetration.
• Take into account the doctor's recommendations and ask for his advice: it is essential to maintain communication with your gynecologist. Wait until they tell you it's okay before you resume your sex life. Ask her opinion about hormonal contraception. Ask her for advice if sex after giving birth is painful. Address any concerns. This is how you ensure that you enjoy a healthy and safe sex life that does not endanger your health.